HOW TO PLAN A SAME-SEX WEDDING: BREAK STEREOTYPES AND CELEBRATE LOVE
When planning a wedding, same-sex couples often face unique challenges and opportunities that go beyond traditional considerations. The journey can feel exciting and complex, from selecting inclusive vendors to creating a ceremony that reflects who you are without conforming to stereotypes.
But let’s flip the script—planning a same-sex wedding isn’t just about overcoming obstacles. It’s about embracing your individuality, celebrating love in its most authentic form, and creating a day that’s true to you. At Married By A Teddy, your wedding should be a joyful celebration that rejects labels and embraces your story your way.
Here’s a guide to breaking stereotypes and planning a wedding as extraordinary as your love.
DITCH THE RULEBOOK
One of the biggest perks of planning a same-sex wedding is the freedom to create a unique ceremony. You don’t have to fit into traditional moulds—no bride-and-groom roles, no expectations to “fit” societal norms. Instead, you have the opportunity to design a day that’s a perfect reflection of your relationship.
IDEAS TO MAKE THE CEREMONY UNIQUELY YOURS
Personalised Entrances: Instead of the conventional one-partner-waiting-at-the-altar setup, why not enter the ceremony space together, hand in hand? Or, arrive from different directions, meeting in the middle as a symbol of your journey to this point.
Rethink the Vows: Your vows are the heart of your ceremony. Feel free to incorporate elements that speak to your relationship’s unique journey, shared experiences, or even inside jokes. Consider incorporating meaningful quotes from LGBTQIA+ writers, poets, or activists who inspire you.
Break Tradition with Roles: Don’t feel pressured to have a traditional “best man” or “maid of honour” if those labels don’t resonate. Instead, create a role like “Love Warriors” or “Celebration Squad” to define your close friends and family.
EXAMPLE IDEA
”Entered the ceremony holding hands and be greeted by a ‘Chosen Family Circle’—a group of friends and loved ones who each place a flower into a shared bouquet as a symbol of their support and blessing.”
CHOOSE VENDORS WHO SUPPORT AND CELEBRATE THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY
One of the most crucial parts of planning your same-sex wedding is selecting vendors who are not only accepting but enthusiastic about celebrating your love. From photographers who capture the essence of your relationship to caterers who understand the importance of inclusive language, your vendors should share your commitment to authenticity and respect.
TIPS FOR FINDING INCLUSIVE VENDORS
Research Their Values and Experience: Look for vendors explicitly stating their support for LGBTQIA+ couples on their websites or marketing. Check if they have experience with same-sex weddings, and read reviews from other LGBTQIA+ couples.
Ask Direct Questions: Don’t be afraid to ask potential vendors about their experience with same-sex weddings and their approach to inclusivity. Listen for genuine excitement and a willingness to embrace non-traditional elements.
Seek Recommendations from LGBTQIA+ Couples: Ask your LGBTQIA+ friends or community for recommendations. There’s no better way to find a great vendor than through a trusted referral.
EXAMPLE VENDOR QUESTION
“We want our ceremony to reflect our identities and include some non-traditional elements. How have you supported other LGBTQIA+ couples in creating their dream weddings?”
HONOUR YOUR CHOSEN FAMILY AND SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
Family dynamics can be complex, particularly when planning a same-sex wedding. If some family members are not fully supportive, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries early on. At the same time, honouring the role of your chosen family—those friends and loved ones who have been by your side—is a powerful way to celebrate the support that has shaped your relationship.
TIPS FOR NAVIGATING FAMILY DYNAMICS
Communicate Early and Clearly: Let your family know what to expect from your wedding. If certain traditions or elements won’t be part of your day, explain why this choice reflects your values and identities.
Involve Your Chosen Family: Ask chosen family members to take on significant roles, such as walking you down the aisle, performing a reading, or giving a toast. This reinforces their importance in your life and makes the ceremony more meaningful.
Create a Safe and Affirming Space: Include a note in your wedding program or a brief statement at the start of the ceremony affirming that this is a space of love and respect. This will set the tone and encourage guests to be mindful of inclusivity.
EXAMPLE PROGRAM NOTE
“This celebration is a space for love, respect, and acceptance. We thank you for being part of our journey and celebrating love in all its beautiful forms.”
CELEBRATE YOUR LOVE STORY: BREAK FREE FROM STEREOTYPES
Same-sex weddings often come with a set of preconceived stereotypes or expectations—such as one partner playing a more “masculine” or “feminine” role. Your wedding is an opportunity to reject these notions and celebrate your relationship on your terms.
IDEAS FOR BREAKING STEREOTYPES
Fashion Without Limits: Forget about traditional wedding attire rules. You can wear suits, dresses, or a combination of the two—whatever makes you feel most fabulous! Add custom elements like matching colours, embroidered initials, or unique accessories that reflect your personality.
Rethink Wedding Party Roles: Don’t feel confined to traditional roles like “bridesmaids” or “groomsmen.” Instead, mix it up with a unified “I Do Crew” or “Love Squad” that reflects the essential people in both of your lives, regardless of gender.
Skip the Stereotypes in Ceremony Structure: Rather than having one partner “give away” the other, consider both of you walking in together or creating a new entrance that feels true to your relationship dynamic.
EXAMPLE IDEA
” Ditch the traditional entrance entirely and instead start the ceremony with a shared dance down the aisle to your favourite song, inviting guests to join you as a symbol of love and unity.”
HONOUR LGBTQIA+ HISTORY AND CELEBRATE PROGRESS
Incorporating elements that acknowledge the history and progress of LGBTQIA+ rights can add depth and meaning to your wedding day, connecting your celebration to the broader community.
WAYS TO HONOUR YOUR LGBTQIA+ HISTORY
Include Symbols of Pride and Progress: Use Pride flags, the trans flag, or other symbols in your decor, invitations, or attire. This can be a subtle yet powerful way to link your wedding to the community.
Share a Reflection on Progress: During the ceremony, include a brief reflection on the significance of marriage equality. This can acknowledge the struggles of those who came before you and celebrate the progress.
Choose LGBTQIA+ Readings and Music: Include readings, poems, or music from LGBTQIA+ artists and writers whose words resonate with your journey and add layers of meaning to your ceremony.
EXAMPLE REFLECTION
“Today, we stand on the shoulders of those who fought for the right to love openly and marry freely. This ceremony is not just a celebration of our love but also a tribute to the resilience and courage of the LGBTQIA+ community.”
SET THE STAGE FOR AN INCLUSIVE AND RESPECTFUL ATMOSPHERE
Your wedding should be a space where all guests feel respected and included. Setting expectations around respect, pronoun use, and inclusive language can help create a safe and affirming environment for everyone present.
TIPS FOR CREATING A RESPECTFUL ENVIRONMENT
Provide Pronoun Options for Guests: Offer a space for pronouns on name tags or provide pins/stickers with pronouns for guests to wear. This promotes awareness and respect for everyone’s identities.
Establish a No-Tolerance Policy for Discrimination: Make it clear that your wedding is a space for love and acceptance. Assign a trusted friend or coordinator to handle any issues discreetly so you can focus on celebrating.
Educate Guests on Inclusivity: Include a small pamphlet or note in your wedding program that explains any LGBTQIA+ symbols, rituals, or language you’re using. This helps guests understand and appreciate the significance of each element.
EXAMPLE NOTE
“Today, we celebrate love in all its beautiful forms. Please be mindful of using the correct names and pronouns for all guests and participants. This is a space for love, respect, and affirmation—thank you for being part of our celebration.”
FINAL THOUGHTS: PLAN A WEDDING THAT’S UNIQUELY YOURS
Planning a same-sex wedding isn’t just about overcoming obstacles—it’s about celebrating love authentically, without stereotypes or limitations. Embrace your creativity, honour your journey, and create a day that’s as fabulous and unique as your love story.
Ready to plan a wedding that’s true to you? Contact Married By A Teddy today, and let’s make your dream celebration a reality that’s joyful, inclusive, and bursting with personality.