PERSONALISED WEDDING VOWS: HOW TO WRITE WORDS THAT CAPTURE YOUR LOVE STORY
Writing your wedding vows is one of the most meaningful ways to make your ceremony unique and authentic. It’s a beautiful opportunity to share your love story, express your commitment, and create a deeply personal moment that reflects your relationship’s essence. But for many couples, finding the right words can feel a bit overwhelming. Where do you start? How do you avoid clichés and craft something that’s truly your own?
This guide will take you through the vow-writing process, share real-life examples, and offer inclusive templates tailored to different relationship dynamics. Drawing on our experience at Married By A Teddy, we’ll help you craft vows that will leave your partner—and maybe a few guests—laughing, crying, and feeling all the love.
STEP 1. REFLECT ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Before putting pen to paper, please take a moment to reflect on your relationship and what it means to you. Consider the journey you’ve shared, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the little moments that make your love unique.
QUESTIONS TO GET STARTED:
How did you first meet, and what were your initial impressions?
What are some of your favourite memories together?
When did you realise you wanted to spend your life with this person?
What do you love most about your partner, and how have they changed your life?
REAL VOW EXAMPLE:
“We met in the unlikeliest places—a rainy day in Melbourne at a café neither of us had planned to go to. I knew then that I had found my best friend, my partner in crime, and the person who makes every day brighter. I promise to cherish every moment we share and create new memories with you for the rest of our lives.”
STEP 2. CHOOSE THE TONE AND STYLE OF YOUR VOWS
Your vows should reflect your relationship and personality. Are you both playful and humorous, or do you lean more towards the romantic and traditional? You may want to include a bit of both! Please discuss with your partner beforehand to decide on the tone and length of your vows, ensuring they feel cohesive when read together.
TYPES OF VOW STYLES:
Traditional and Formal:
This style emphasises classic promises like “to love, cherish, and honour” and uses timeless language.Romantic and Poetic:
Uses vivid imagery and expressive language to convey deep emotions.Humorous and Light-Hearted:
Includes playful promises, inside jokes, and light-hearted humour.
TIP FOR INCLUSIVITY:
Make sure your vows reflect your identities and relationship. For LGBTQIA+ couples, consider using gender-neutral language such as “partner” instead of “husband” or “wife.” Also, if you’re a non-traditional couple, feel free to create vows that break away from convention—this is your moment to express yourselves authentically.
STEP 3: STRUCTURE YOUR VOWS
A structure can help organise your thoughts and ensure your vows flow naturally. Here’s a simple structure you can use:
Start with a Personal Memory or Story:
Recount a meaningful moment in your relationship that highlights your connection.Express What You Love About Your Partner:
Talk about the qualities you admire most and how they make you feel.Share Personal Promises:
Make commitments reflecting your relationship, such as supporting each other’s dreams or making time for date nights.Look to the Future:
End your vows with a vision for your future together, such as building a family or embarking on new adventures.
EXAMPLE STRUCTURE:
“I still remember the first time we met… You had this way of making me feel like I’d known you forever. I love how you make me laugh, even on the hardest days, and you’re always there to lift me. I promise to support you, to encourage you, and to love you through every joy and challenge that comes our way. Together, I know we can face anything, and I can’t wait to see where our journey takes us.”
STEP 4: WRITE A ROUGH DRAFT AND REFINE IT
Once you have a structure in mind, start drafting your vows. Don’t worry about getting everything perfect on the first try—focus on getting your thoughts down on paper. You can continuously refine and edit later.
EDITING TIPS:
Read Aloud:
Reading your vows aloud helps you hear how they sound and ensures they flow smoothly.Trim for Length:
Aim to keep your vows between 1 and 2 minutes. This is typically around 150-250 words, long enough to express your thoughts without dragging on.Be Specific and Avoid Clichés:
Instead of saying, “I promise always to love you,” try including a unique promise that only applies to your relationship, such as “I promise to always cheer for your team, even if they’re playing against mine.”
TIP:
Take breaks between drafts to revisit your vows with fresh eyes. Sharing them with a close friend or family can also provide valuable feedback.
STEP 5: USE INCLUSIVE VOW TEMPLATES FOR INSPIRATION
If you’re struggling to get started, templates can help. Here are a few templates to inspire you. Remember to personalise them with details that are meaningful to your relationship.
Traditional Vow Template:
“I, [Your Name], take you, [Partner’s Name], to be my [husband/wife/partner]. From this day forward, I promise to stand by your side in sickness, health, joy, and sorrow. I will cherish you, respect you, and love you unconditionally. Today, I choose you as my partner for life, and I vow to grow with you, dream with you, and build a future filled with love and happiness.”
Romantic Vow Template:
“[Partner’s Name], you are my heart’s greatest joy and soul’s deepest companion. From the moment we met, I knew you were my forever. I promise to support, encourage, and inspire you daily. I vow to find beauty in small things and cherish every moment we share. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you with all that I am.”
Humorous Vow Template:
“I, [Your Name], promise always to be your partner-in-crime and your Netflix binge-watching buddy. I vow to laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow. I promise to love you even when you’re snoring, stealing the covers, or leaving the toothpaste cap off. I choose you, quirks and all, today and every day.”
INCLUSIVE VOW EXAMPLE FOR LGBTQIA+ COUPLES:
“From the moment I met you, I knew I’d found my person—the one who makes my heart feel at home. I promise to celebrate your identity, to support you through all of life’s transitions, and to love you exactly as you are today and always.”
STEP 6: REAL VOWS FROM REAL COUPLES
Sometimes, the best inspiration comes from seeing what others have created. Here are a few excerpts from actual vows shared by couples Married By A Teddy has worked with:
“I promise always to support your dreams and believe in your potential, just as you’ve always believed in mine. And I promise never to let our competitive spirit in board games get in the way of our love!” — Emily & Jess.
“I vow to love you as fiercely as you love your morning coffee and to cherish the small, quiet moments that bring us closer together.” — Sam & Alex.
“I promise to be your biggest cheerleader, your co-pilot on all our adventures, and your partner in navigating all of life’s challenges, both big and small.” — Jordan & Casey.
TIP:
Real stories and examples can help spark ideas and show you that there’s no one “right” way to express your love.
STEP 7: OVERCOME COMMON CHALLENGES
Writing vows can be intimidating, but you’re not alone! Here’s how to overcome some common challenges:
Writer’s Block:
Start by free-writing or listing words that remind you of your partner. Even a few sentences can help you build momentum.Fear of Public Speaking:
Practice reading your vows aloud multiple times. Consider memorising key lines, but keep a written copy handy.Balancing Sentiment and Humour:
If you want to include humour, start with a light-hearted comment or inside joke, then move into more heartfelt sentiments.
FINAL THOUGHTS: CREATING VOWS THAT SPEAK FROM THE HEART
Your vows don’t have to be perfect—they must be genuine to your relationship. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and speak from the heart. Remember, this moment is about celebrating your love meaningfully to both of you.
At Married By A Teddy, we specialise in helping couples craft personalised vows that capture their unique story. Contact us today for additional support or a one-on-one vow-writing session. Let’s make your ceremony as unforgettable as your love story!