HOW TO DECIDE WHO TO INVITE TO YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY
Creating your wedding guest list can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s a task filled with joy, logistics, and a bit of family politics! Deciding who gets an invite to your ceremony can set the tone for the entire event, so it’s worth taking the time to get it just right. The challenge? Balancing your budget, your venue’s capacity, and the atmosphere you want to create—all while keeping those closest to you happy!
So, how do you work out who cuts? From considering your wedding size to navigating family expectations, here’s a guide to help you build your guest list confidently and clearly—without losing sight of your vision.
SET THE STAGE: DETERMINE YOUR CEREMONY SIZE AND STYLE
Before listing names, decide on the overall vibe and size of your wedding. This will give you a framework and make the decision-making process more manageable.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF:
What kind of ceremony do we envision?
Is it an intimate micro-wedding with just a handful of guests or a more significant celebration with everyone we know?What’s our venue capacity?
Your venue’s capacity will directly impact how many people you can invite. Remember this number as you build your list to avoid potential headaches later.What’s our budget for the ceremony?
More guests mean more costs—from catering to seating and favours. If budget constraints are a concern, consider limiting the guest list to close family and friends.
TEDDY’S TIP:
“The size of your guest list will shape the entire atmosphere of your wedding. Small ceremonies tend to feel more intimate and personal, while larger gatherings have a festive, community feel. Consider what vibe you want to create and let that guide your decisions.”
START WITH A “DREAM LIST” AND THEN EDIT FOR REALITY
Start by creating a master list of everyone you’d love to have at your wedding—no matter how unrealistic it might seem. Include family, friends, colleagues, and anyone else who comes to mind. This is your opportunity to dream big and imagine your ideal day without limitations.
Once you have your dream list, it’s time to get practical. Start trimming it based on your ceremony style, venue capacity, and budget. Here’s how to prioritise:
BREAK YOUR LIST INTO CATEGORIES:
Immediate Family:
Parents, siblings, grandparents, and close aunts/uncles are often non-negotiables when it comes to your guest list.Close Friends:
Friends who have been there through thick and thin, who know your love story, and who you can’t imagine celebrating without.Extended Family and Friends:
Cousins, family friends, and others who are part of your broader support network. If you’re working with a limited guest list, this is where you might start making cuts.Work and Social Circles:
Colleagues, acquaintances, or friends you haven’t seen in a while. Ask yourself: will their presence enhance the day, or is it more of an obligation?
PRO TIP:
As you categorise your list, prioritise the people actively involved in your relationship journey who will continue to be part of your lives long after the wedding day. This can help you keep your list meaningful and manageable.
CONSIDER “MUST-HAVES” VS. “NICE-TO-HAVES”
Once you’ve categorised your guests, it’s time to consider who falls into your “must-have” category and who’s more of a “nice-to-have.” You can’t imagine your day without must-haves—your ride-or-die friends and family members. Nice-to-haves might be those critical to your parents or those you’d like to include but could celebrate with in another way.
TEDDY’S TIP:
“When deciding between must-haves and nice-to-haves, consider how their presence will add to your day. Does this person support you and your relationship? Do you share a special connection? If the answer is yes, they’re probably a must-have!”
NAVIGATING FAMILY EXPECTATIONS: KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN
Family dynamics can add complexity to guest list planning. You may feel pressure to invite extended relatives or friends of the family. While it’s essential to consider family input, remember that this is your day. Having open and honest conversations with family members early on can help set expectations and avoid potential conflicts.
HOW TO HANDLE FAMILY EXPECTATIONS:
Set Clear Boundaries:
Be upfront about your guest list limitations and the reasoning behind them. Let your family know if budget or venue size is a factor.Compromise Where Possible:
If parents or in-laws have strong opinions, consider giving them a set number of guest spots to allocate as they choose. This way, they feel included without overwhelming your list.Stay True to Your Vision:
It’s okay to say no to suggestions that don’t align with your vision for the day. Remember that the people who matter most will understand and respect your decisions.
TEDDY’S TAKE:
“Family input can be invaluable, but setting boundaries and staying true to your vision is essential. Your wedding should reflect your love story—not someone else’s guest list.”
MANAGING PLUS-ONES AND KIDS: TO INVITE OR NOT TO INVITE?
Deciding whether to include plus-ones and children can significantly impact your guest list size and budget. Here’s how to make these decisions in a way that feels fair and manageable:
Plus-Ones:
Consider offering plus-ones to married, engaged guests or in long-term relationships. If your list is tight, inviting other guests is perfectly acceptable.Kids:
If you’re considering a child-free wedding, communicate this clearly to guests. Include this information on your invitations and wedding website to avoid any confusion.
PRO TIP:
If you have several friends with children and want to include them, consider offering childcare at the venue. This way, parents can enjoy the celebration while the kids are entertained nearby.
STICK TO YOUR LIST: HANDLING LAST-MINUTE ADDITIONS GRACEFULLY
It’s not uncommon for new guests to pop into your mind or for family to suggest last-minute additions. While it’s tempting to keep adding names, sticking to your plan and guest list boundaries is essential. Last-minute additions can impact seating arrangements, catering numbers, and your budget, so be mindful of their ripple effect.
HOW TO HANDLE NEW ADDITIONS:
Be honest about limitations: Politely explain if your guest list is at capacity or your budget doesn’t allow additional guests.
Offer alternatives: If someone can’t be added to the ceremony, consider inviting them to a more casual celebration later.
PLANNING FOR INCLUSIVITY: GUEST LIST CONSIDERATIONS FOR DIVERSE COUPLES
For LGBTQIA+ couples, multicultural couples, or those with complex family dynamics, guest list planning can come with unique challenges. Here’s how to approach it with confidence and inclusivity:
LGBTQIA+ COUPLES:
Focus on inviting those who fully support and celebrate your love story. Don’t feel pressured to include relatives or friends who may not respect your relationship—this is your day, and you deserve to be surrounded by love and positivity.
MULTICULTURAL AND MULTIGENERATIONAL CELEBRATIONS:
Consider traditions or cultural expectations that may influence your guest count. If you’re planning a multicultural wedding, consider including elements from each culture that can be shared within your guest list—no matter the size.
TEDDY’S TIP:
“When navigating guest list decisions as a diverse couple, prioritise people who will celebrate your love and identity. Your wedding day should be a safe, supportive, and affirming space.”
FINAL THOUGHTS: CRAFTING A GUEST LIST THAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU
Creating your wedding guest list can be emotional and challenging, but remember—your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. Focus on inviting the people who support and uplift you, and don’t feel pressured to meet everyone’s expectations. When you surround yourself with those who matter most, your day will be filled with love, joy, and pizazz!